I Told You So i.e. Hey Houston, It’s On!

By: Melissa | September 8th, 2008

Hello there Offside reader. I’m having a hard time waiting for Sean/Ian to write about the Quakes because, well, the Quakes are winning and everybody always likes to write about their team when their team is winning. Also, it does appear playoff hopes are not completely dead and I’d like to take a few seconds to gloat because I TOTALLY PREDICTED THIS before the season even started. Yes indeed. I do believe I wrote a little Earthquakes preview for The Offside main page where I point blank wrote the Quakes will make the playoffs. But I also wrote James Riley will get a call-up so clearly I still have no idea what I’m talking about. Anyways, my financial situation is suddenly on the up and up meaning I will actually be at the Houston game which only means one thing: Melissa’s San Jose Offside game preview!

So What Did I Miss? Good lord, it’s a completely different team out there on the field. Different attitude and different faces. You know, this actually brings up something that’s been bugging me lately. With so much change and excitement happening around here, it seems a bit weird that Mr DuNord dude hardly ever mentions it on his News blog. He has a little section for each MLS team but the Quakes hardly ever appear. Just something on my mind. Oh and Houston are in first place and San Jose are fourth. San Jose whooped Houston’s ass earlier in the season but now the Dreamsicles have a new and improved offense, so any predictions from this peanut gallery are a bit of a crapshoot.

Speaking of Offense… Check out the big brain on Kei Kamara! Houston’s new goal scoring machine is all sorts of paired up with Houston’s old goal scoring machine and… uh… another striker who somehow seemed to fail under Yallop’s tutelage. While I doubt Kamara and Jaqua are coming back for revenge, at the moment, these two are like the freakin floodgates and the Quakes defense will most certainly have their work cut out for them.

Speaking of Defense… Jay Hernandez is proving to be by far the best pickup from the Expansion Draft. That skinny little guy will take on and beat players three times his size. And after watching the defensive woes Chivas have been experiencing all season, I seriously wonder why Preki let him go. This situation actually brings me to assume our Jay’s trade is perhaps the best thing to happen to him since Bob Bradley. It seems Hernandez and the Yallop system fit together perfectly and as long as he keeps playing for Frank, he’s probably only going to get better.

Who is Out? Ramiro Corrales & Gavin Glinton. A few months ago, those injuries would have meant insta-loss. But hey, now the Quakes have something new and somewhat strange but mostly wonderful: depth. We’ve got Ned and Kelly waiting to start while that Lima fellow is more than capable of holding down the middle with our Ronnie and whatshisfaceIalreadyforgot English dude on the wings. Oooh, I love me some midfield for sure.

Who is Gonna Be the Man of the Match? Frank Yallop. The guy is seriously pulling off a miracle here and I completely agree with Louis Bueno. If the Quakes make the playoffs, Frank could be a shoe-in for Coach of the Year. Would that make it nod number three? And since this season’s trend seems to be “our team sucks balls so let’s fire the coach,” I’ve got nothing but mad love for Doyle and the Quakes ownership group for not freaking out when the chips were down. Also, props to Frank and the Gang (you know, The Scooby Gang) for knowing all the crazy messed up MLS rules, understanding all the crazy messed up MLS rules, and maneuvering through all the crazy messed up MLS rules. Which brings me to another bit worth mentioning. A few weeks ago, when that mass firing mess happened down in LA Galaxy-land, I was discussing it with some friends who brought up a very good point. The actual number of qualified and experienced candidates for a MLS head coaching job is so small, Bruce Arena only had to sit back and relax for a few months before a club came knocking. And here we are in the Yay, witnessing a pretty miraculous turn around from a team who spent much of the season dwelling in last place. So if this keeps up, Ian Russell and Ronnie Ekelund will likely never have to worry about employment ever again. Damn. If only I was so lucky.

YES! For the Last Time, WE ARE WITH YOU As an Oakland resident, I’ve noticed The Town seriously does not fuck around when it comes to The Raiders. I hope that, while the numbers are likely a bit smaller, the same kind of passion and support exists in San Jose, for their MLS team. And I honestly don’t know if that’s true because all of my recent trips to San Jose consisted of me getting stuck in traffic then losing my mind inside a data center on Zanker Road. Speaking of, what the hell IS that stretch of no man’s land on the 880—err Nimitz between Milpitas and Fremont? I think I just found the Bermuda Triangle. (and yes, we totally called it milpenis when we were kids which is exactly what I think about every time I pass through)

Crapshoot Prediction? We win, I have a fun & relaxing time at the game, then my friends and I go somewhere else and get wasted. Also, that English dude (what’s his name again?) will score at least once.

Ok, so I think that’s it. Back in the day of only a few months ago, I used to post random other not-necessarily-soccer-related crap to do in the Bay Area but Summer to Fall is the time when a sizeable portion of the population around here spends a week in the Nevada desert then brings pounds upon pounds of radioactive dust back with them. So we are currently living in the post playa month which thankfully has it’s own term: decompression. And many people I know are off doing whatever it is they do when they want to decompress right now.

(Sean & Ian, COME BACK! Everyone misses you! The place just isn’t the same without you! For reals. You guys should totally write game previews that kick this preview’s ass. Just sayin’. I’m out.)