San Jose v Colorado preview

By: Melissa | April 17th, 2008

A couple of stiff drinks at the bar on Saturday and this game will be like buttah. The MLS scheduling daemons couldn’t be more cruel this time around. We’re up against the current Western Conference champions and our new offensive help won’t be available until next week at the earliest.

Projected line-up? Probably the same as last week. Although, I still think we were a little bit more dangerous with Salinas and Johnson on the wings. And I’m not just saying that because we also dropped down to three defenders and subbed in practically every single forward off the bench (not Adam Smarte though – but I saw him warming up – Go Slugs!).

Who is out? Again, no-one! You know, there’s a saying that goes something like: you can’t have a great house, a great relationship, and a great job all at the same time. Anyone remember it?

Who is gonna score? Shea Salinas. I bet that kid is piiiiiiiisssed off right now.

Who is gonna shine? I’m thinking the entire team is sick of consistently having fantastic scoring opportunities yet never quite finishing them. It’s like a collective blue balls syndrome. Time for the cure boys. A little discipline and focus should do the tick. In fact, I’d like to go ahead and quote one of the greatest rap bands of all time, Gang Starr, for inspiration:

I love the cutie pies

Never the doodie pies

I got discipline

I want my crew to rise

Normally, I’d just make that song this week’s Song of the Week entry but the video is worse than terrible.

Biggest improvement? Sure, that Salinas not-goal was a stinker but Ronnie O’Brien spent much of the first half against Chicago making passes that overshot his targets by a freakin’ mile. I think our man with the highest salary will tone that sh*t down this time around and actually find the forwards.

How will the fans get through this game? If you’re a West Coaster, then it’s on during dinner so I’d recommend you have your favorite meal at the ready. I’m pretty excited to order a delicious falafel extra spicy, to take to the bar with me.

Should we listen to the game commentary? Hell no. Since Wynalda got fired, there’s no point. I say, mute that crap and turn up the new Jamie Lidell album. Even better, is there a RiffTrax available for this game?

Ok, this may be the worst game preview post I’ll ever write. It’s been a crazy week for me so I’m woefully unprepared for Saturday’s game. But I think everything boils down to the fact that we need to score our first MLS goal asap. We may not walk away with any points this weekend, but if we can put one in the back of the net, then it’s a definite win (in our hearts! aaannd queue the sappy music).