San Jose v Columbus preview

By: Melissa | May 8th, 2008

Ok guys. I had a fantastic preview post saved in my drafts, but wordpress decided to swallow it instead. Now I’m starting from scratch again. Here’s the deal. Not only am I a complete luddite when it comes to crap like “User UI” and “WYSYWIG,” but I also know nothing about Columbus. We don’t even seem to have a Crew blogger on The Offside anymore. So I can’t just fake it by reading said imaginary blogger’s posts and writing something that looks intelligent.

And it seems I am now missing a party with a karaoke machine to spend yet another Saturday in the South Bay. So if our boys don’t manage to score at least one goal this time, I WILL NOT leave Buck Shaw satisfied UNLESS the entire team busts out microphones and performs either Lionel Richie’s “Hello” or anything off the Xanadu soundtrack.

I am an unfrozen caveman lawyer who does not understand this strange league The Quakes currently sit on one win, three losses, and a tie putting them second to last in the Western Conference standings as well as in the imaginary single table. Yes, we are still doing better than Houston. But Columbus are doing the best. They have the most points out of any team in the league right now. Weird. (EDIT: With Thursday’s win, Chicago jump one point ahead of Columbus. Still weird tho.)

Any line-up changes? It seems Gavin Glinton is off to Germany next week for the magical elixir to fix his hernia. He’ll be available on Saturday as a sub, meaning our Jean-Phillipe gets his first start. I’d like to add here that if Aleko Eskandarian’s Facebook Status Updates are any indication, Glinton gets to spend next week taking something like 80 shots in his, uh, hernia region. Good luck to Gavin.

Who is out? Did anyone else notice Ryan Cochrane standing around before the Dallas game wearing a rather smart outfit? Well, I can’t wait to see what ensemble he pulls out of his closet this weekend because the official Quakes site has him listed as “Questionable.” Also, Jay Ayers had surgery this week to put his broken face back together. Ouch.

Who is gonna score SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DO IT ALREADY

Who is gonna shine? Kamara’s exasperated expressions every time he missed a clear shot indicate the guy is very very close to completely losing it and going postal. But in a good way. Also, last weekend showed our Shea Salinas has it in him to walk (or rather, run) into a situation-in-progress and make an immediate impact.

The television is still on mute. What should I listen to now? Hold up. If you live in the Bay Area, please pass the mic to Troy Dayak and John Schrader at Comcast. If you don’t live in the Bay Area, I recommend the new album from The Roots, although it takes a few listens before really sinking in.

How Should I prepare for this game? The Fail Blog!

Ok, I think that’s about it. I am apparently spending my Saturday afternoon at a bbq in Alameda (where they keep the nuclear wessels) then catching a ride to Santa Clara with a bunch of soccer coaches. But lucky for me, this group doesn’t spend their time at the game huddled in a corner overanalyzing everything. Instead, they tell funny jokes and make silly horn noises. Awesome. Here’s your Song of the Week. Time for a little North Bay local love.