Its on bitches!

By: Melissa | April 2nd, 2008

After I left that Quakes v UC Berkeley scrimmage a few weeks ago, I took Bart home. While waiting on the platform for my train, I saw a dude walk by wearing a Beckham LA Galaxy zip up jacket thingamabob. I was initially shocked because I seriously never thought anyone would actually buy something that lame (and expensive!) but after my shock subsided, I really just wanted to go up to the guy and give him a good shake and a slap. Lucky for him, my train showed up instead.

Don’t let the same situation happen to you. If you - typical average Earthquakes fan - find yourself face to face with a Beckhamaniac (Beckham-a-loonie?), I’ve put together this handy chart that outlines in great detail what you must do immediately in order to set this person straight.

Memorize it. Practice at home if you must. So when the inevitable encounter occurs, you will be ready to throw down (and rep the Bay).

So here’s my Quakes v Galaxy preview: We school their asses and they run off the pitch crying. Also, Bianca subs in as Beckham’s new target forward because Alan Gordon is gonna flip out and go back to the Portland Timbers (i.e. a real soccer club). Oh and Allison needs to put Kei Kamara in her fantasy team’s starting lineup asap because that dude is going to score on Thursday (and I hope I just threw out a double entendre for our young striker).

Well, there’s not much more to say on the topic, really. Except Ryan Cochrane has a few words, i.e. an excerpt from his recent interview over at American Soccer Reader:

Guys who haven’t really been here, who don’t know about the San Jose - L.A. rivalry, they’ll learn quickly, and we’ve been warning them about it. That, I don’t want to say hatred, but it kind of is, for L.A. has never gone away for me, even when I was in Houston. And I know those guys in Houston feel the same way about L.A. as they did when they were in San Jose. So it’s going to be fun, it’s going to be heated, it’s going to be a battle. Obviously they have a lot of attention on them with Beckham and with their new coach and all that. It’s kind of the David vs. Goliath thing right now and we love that role for us.

And our captain, Nick Garcia, had a little tv interview during halftime at a recent San Jose Sharks game.

Note at the end of the video, there’s a quick shot of Ryan with what the majority of Bigsoccer readers think is his girlfriend. Apparently, they also think she is a hottie. And now, after watching the video of the alleged girlfriend, I’m feeling pretty good about myself – not gonna lie folks. Yup, ego boost in full effect (and I agree, she is a looker, no doubt). Go Earthquakes.