Every Time a Person Stops Writing About the San Jose Earthquakes, God Kills a Kitten

I’m pretty sure the Earthquakes PR department does not read this blog but it is a weird coincidence that I wrote this little bit of ridic in my last post…

We win, I have a fun & relaxing time at the game, then my friends and I go somewhere else and get wasted.

and today I receive this message in my Facebook…

After the game, come out to The Britannia Arms Downtown to watch Earthquakes players be celebrity bartenders for the night. All tips go to support the Earthquakes Community Fund.

ORLY?!?!? Well, I guess that’s settled then. So I wonder who is going to volunteer for this? And will they be well versed in all the varieties of girly mixed drinks out there? Can they make a perfect dry martini? Will they remember everyone’s order if there’s a rush on the bar?

And most importantly, WILL STUART HOLDEN BE THERE?!?!?! Hell yes we all saw those amazing pictures of him getting molested in a bar by women twice – nay – three times his age and clearly having a laugh over it. All I gotta say about that is, Stuart, I’ve got nothing but mad love and respect for your “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. If I see you at the Britannia Arms on Saturday, I will A) not molest you and B) buy you a drink. For reals. I’m not lying. Uh… are you 21 or over?

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Category: Local Love, Post-Game, Wishful Thinking

Tags: Local Love, Post-Game, Wishful Thinking

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