Expect a Welcome Back mega-update/pre-game post for the cRapids match later today or tomorrow.

Sean

Ok, so wordpress got updated last night and it appears I cannot embed MLS video right now. Just go here to watch the damn goal.

Annnnd don’t get on my case that he’s not ON the list yet. I say, it’s time to campaign to get him nominated. Then we can all vote and vote often.

Good job boys. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend, y’all.

And after watching them lose to the Revs, there really isn’t anything new to say about the Quakes. I think the team is still plagued by the same ol’ same ol’ that plagues them every week. The players just haven’t had the time to get comfortable enough with each other yet. And here we saw again, our midfield almost completely disappear and our backline fall apart. Luckily our defense pulled it together during the second half which brings up another observation of note. It seems to take our guys over 45 minutes to get into some sort of sync with each other. We often get it together within the second half but usually our improved performance ends up too little too late. Now, whether there is a correlation between Yallop’s tendency to change the formation in the second half and the team’s late in the game improvements is up for debate. Anyways, here are some more observations…

We can try the long-ball approach or we can try to pass it up the pitch but if our midfield disappears, we are not getting sh*t done. Our little group spent the entire game looking for the Quakes’ midfield. Most of the time, we couldn’t find it.

It’s going to be a bad game if we forget Ronnie O’Brien started. About midway through the first half we wondered aloud if he was playing. The camera eventually panned to him. Boy were we shocked.

We broke another record last night. We now have the fewest goals this MLS season. Did I not say we are going to make the most of our time in the cellar? My friend’s immediate response to this bit of news: If we were playing golf, we’d be winning.

James Riley forgot which team he plays for. In fact, during the game, my friend checked the MLS scores on his phone and it listed Riley as a member of the Revs. We tried to take a picture of that but it came out too blurry to read the words.

Shea Salinas was the Man of the Match. It was a brief glimmer of a chance… except he attempted the shot just a few seconds too late. I say, he still has THE FEAR.

The Food of the Match was the fish & chips I ate at the Pig & Whistle. Very fried. Very greasy. Very good.

If I ever buy a Quakes jersey, I now know what I’ll get printed on the back of it. The words “That Guy” and a random number like 0.08 or pi.

The Personal Moment of the night was the San Francisco fog rolling onto the pitch during the Seals game. Sure, we could no longer see the other end of the field but it certainly made the game picturesque.

We found midfield during the PDL game. The Quakes appear to be a bit busy introducing their new scent: Hint O’ Midfield for Men. The SF Seals, on the other hand, were a straight up shot of midfield. A brown bag full of whiskey and midfield. A huge heaping dose of midfield. In fact, number 21, midfielder Jesse Henderson, scored their only goal and celebrated with a backflip.

If the Quakes win zero cups this season, our little group will just decorate a cup with glue and glitter and drive it down to the Quakes offices to give to them. We hope we can present our cup to the entire team personally. Anyone think they’ll go for it?

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We started off happy.

But then we were sad.

Halftime = the art of sausage. Oh really?

Second half, still feeling sad.

There were some substitutions.

We got happy again.

Towards the end of it, we got a little mad, but really, we were mostly sad.

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Here are some observations. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Shea Salinas has THE FEAR. The guy won’t shoot. I hear Rob Schneider lives in San Francisco. If I ever meet him, I will ask him to come to an Earthquakes game and the moment before Shea subs in, I’ll have him yell out “You can do it!”

Jean-Phillipe should watch more Sesame Street. We need to see a little less diving and a little more cooperation with our Kei.

Ian Russell looks heaps more confident. Just a few games ago, he was hunched over that book of his, looking about two seconds from sneaking out the fire exit. Now he’s up, pacing around, talking to Yallop, talking to the subs, etc etc etc. I’d like to add here that both he and Yallop had words with Johnson before Johnson subbed into the game. Then our Ryan scored. Coincidence?

I totally jinxed this game. A few minutes before Cannon got nutmegged, I made the unfortunate comment that Cannon was “on fire.” Well, he was on fire. The first half was a fantastic game for him I must say.

I thought our strategy was to just injure the entire Crew starting 11 so they’d be forced to play only their reserves. It sure seemed that way didn’t it?

The 3-4-3 is great when our defense doesn’t fall apart. Columbus certainly took advantage of our re-formation and managed two goals off us. Ouch.

The Man of the Match was the parking control guy. We parked a few blocks from the University. The parking guy told us: “The Quakes strongly encourage you not to park here.” After the game, we realized the appropriate comeback would have been: “The fans strongly encourage the Quakes to win some games.”

The Food of the Match was that hot dog. We were a little late (my fault) so we had some overpriced food inside the stadium. But we were sooo hungry, it was delicious. Our section also won a free In N Out burger but I wish they just gave us the burger on the spot instead of a coupon.

I think this is Eric Denton’s last start. I saw Ryan Cochrane dressed, and kicking the ball around during half time. I say, it looks like he’ll be back to his old position by the next game. I mentioned my little observation to our group and we all had a moment for Denton – who, during the Dallas game, we lovingly renamed, “that guy.” See ya next time on the bench, that guy.

Getting back to San Jose, our Quakes have a little contest going on right now. Submit an essay to soccerintern@sjearthquakes.com and explain why YOU are the biggest Quakes fan in the whole wide world. The winner gets to participate in Saturday’s coin toss. On a personal note, if I wasn’t completely burning the candle at both ends with all the projects I’ve got going on right now, I’d think up a completely ridonkulous story to submit just for laughs. Anyone else want to give it a shot?

It looks like I’m out for the rest of the day. I’m still waiting impatiently for the official “weekly update” to see who may be injured for Saturday. In the meantime, congrats go out to the Quakes who smoked Stanford University last night 3-2. No idea who scored the goals but as I understand it, the squad was made up of mostly reserves. And here are some upcoming dates to remember:

* May 13. The San Jose City Council will vote on Wolff’s plan to purchase the old FMC property. Soccer Silicon Valley is asking fans to attend the meeting to show their support.

* Memorial Day Weekend (May 24-25). Carnival Soccerfest takes place in San Francisco’s Mission District (mmmmmmm, El Farlito). It’s an interactive event to help promote soccer and athleticism for kids. There will be a free soccer clinic and a bunch of guys from our National Beach Soccer team will be in attendance.

Well, one thing left to do is present a photo essay of Saturday’s game. I’d like to point out that we were sitting in the very last row towards the middle, behind the team benches, so that should give all of you (who weren’t there) a pretty good indication of just how “intimate” Buck Shaw really is.

Rockin’ the wigs. Perhaps the least flattering photo ever taken in the history of photography.

Churro guy!

Pre-game warm up keep away game. It totally weirded me out because the coaches were watching so intently.

Game time.

James Riley! During a stop in the game, we yelled his name and we swear he heard us and looked back.

No caption needed. Makes us laugh every time.

FC Dallas = Love.

After the game, we went over to the Ultras section and hung out. Joe Cannon ran over and threw a Gatorade bottle at us.

The Ultras started singing to Johnny Moore. He gave us a thumbs up (sorry so fuzzy).

The sad, broken remains of a delicious cookie we brought over from the awesome (not in any way official) tailgate.

The grass was amazing. We decided we had to pet it before leaving.

That guy claimed to be the grounds keeper.

I Can’t Go For That by Hall & Oates – Nick Garcia

Our rock at defense. Rarely gets in on the offense but is always holding up the back line.

Highway To The Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins – James Riley

A defender and a part-time midfielder. Towards the end of the game, he lit the fire in our offense.

Fame by Irene Cara – Shea Salinas

Keep reaching for the stars dude and thanks for for reminding me to stretch every day

Never Surrender by Corey Hart – Jay Hernandez

No question the Man of the Match against Dallas.

It Takes 2 by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock

Kei Kamara and Gavin Glinton. Nuff Said.

I Need Love by LL Cool J – John Cunliffe, Adam Smarte… just everyone else on the bench

Don’t Stop Believing by Journey – Joe Cannon

Does this need an explanation?

The report from Salt Lake is that your own guys are running into and injuring each other and RSL is up 3-0

Turns out her friend was at the game and reporting back via text message (SMS is seriously keeping my soccer obsession alive people). Unfortunately, I didn’t get any more updates since I went and saw a pretty darn good movie instead of waiting by the phone. But this morning, I received this Facebook message:

It snowed for the entire second half. So much so that they had to pull out the orange ball. Oh and RSL scored another goal. She said RSL’s team was half starters and half reserves. And that was your Open Cup season in a nutshell.

A Match Report from John Coon is here. Turns out the guys running into each other were Jay Ayres and Ryan Cochrane and the injuries were so bad, they got sent to the hospital and probably won’t be available for Saturday’s game.

So that was the entirety of our Open Cup run for 2008. I suppose you can look at it with a positive spin: that we’ve freed up more time and energy to focus on the MLS season. Are there any more extra tournaments San Jose will play now? I’m thinking there aren’t. Time to focus on making the playoffs and asking Cochrane how many fingers we’re holding up.

Samantha: It’s tied at zero 17 minutes in.
Me: Ooh! game update! That new guy playing? Jean-Phillipe?
S: No he isn’t.
S: Still zero 38 minutes in. Hernandez has a yellow.
M: Hrrrm, bit of a boring game I guess.
S: Halftime. Still zero. Both teams have a shot on goal.
M: I’ve been happily dozing on a mattress and and two hippies just sat down next to me. Annoying. They won’t stop talking sh*t.
S: Just stare at them.
M: HaHa. They are smoking pot, talking about their feelings and mood stones and sh*t.
S: Having a heart to heart?
M: These people are beyond hope. I’m not wasting any energy on them.
S: Glinton is out for Vide. San Jose got another shot on goal off.
M: Ooh, my Facebook friend. So the hippie girl says she has two names: Nicole & Whiskey Tonsil. Apparently they are talking to Whiskey Tonsil right now and not Nicole.
S: Lol. I had to read that a few times to understand all that. Wow.
M: I’m downwind from Whiskey Tonsil. I bet Nicole smells better.
S: Still zero. Still nothing at all going on.
M: Woo Hooo! Everyone left. Back to napping in peace.
S: I think SJ and NY have been napping in peace.
M: I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. Still zero zero I guess.
S: Yep but there are some changes. Corrales got a yellow. Grabavoy out for Phillipe in the 67th.
M: New guy. Huzzah.
S: Oh no! NY scored in the 79th min on a PK. Cochrane fouled Jozy. McGee scored. Salinas in for Ivan.
M: McGee? He’s still alive? He must have negotiated a great contract.
S: No kidding! Those were my thoughts. He came in at the half.
M: I guess Cannon fell asleep again. Cochrane is a foul machine.
S: It’s McGee’s first goal since July 2006.
M: Wow. His stock just went up. Congrats Mike? I need to have a heart to heart with Cannon about him sleeping on the job again.
S: Lol. I’m glad I was off the phone when I read that. Heart to hearts make me laugh. I’m sure Mike will score again against Chivas. [The Chivas defense] will make him look like a star. Ok, I have to have a thrilling meeting with my boss but its still 1-0 at the 93rd minute.
M: Sounds like its been called 1-0 NY.
S: In reality you “watched” a lot of important games this weekend and by a lot I mean 2.
M: And I “watched” Kraftwerk play “live.”
S: Ok, back from meeting. Facebook was up during one of my calls which was not appreciated oh and your game ended 2-0 Jozy scored in the 5th minute of stoppage.

In the meantime, please enjoy the highlights from Saturday’s game.

Not featured in the highlights is Cannon’s yellow card for *ahem* “Delaying a Restart?” Wasting time? Putzing around? Seriously. I have no words.