And I’m off to that dreary data center on Zanker Rd today. If you just happen to be in the area and see the only car in California with a Chicago Red Stars sticker on it’s back window, that would be me. So please go ahead and leave a stupid (but not a creepy) note. I love that kind of stuff.

We win, I have a fun & relaxing time at the game, then my friends and I go somewhere else and get wasted.

and today I receive this message in my Facebook…

After the game, come out to The Britannia Arms Downtown to watch Earthquakes players be celebrity bartenders for the night. All tips go to support the Earthquakes Community Fund.

ORLY?!?!? Well, I guess that’s settled then. So I wonder who is going to volunteer for this? And will they be well versed in all the varieties of girly mixed drinks out there? Can they make a perfect dry martini? Will they remember everyone’s order if there’s a rush on the bar?

And most importantly, WILL STUART HOLDEN BE THERE?!?!?! Hell yes we all saw those amazing pictures of him getting molested in a bar by women twice – nay – three times his age and clearly having a laugh over it. All I gotta say about that is, Stuart, I’ve got nothing but mad love and respect for your “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. If I see you at the Britannia Arms on Saturday, I will A) not molest you and B) buy you a drink. For reals. I’m not lying. Uh… are you 21 or over?

Today’s Entry: The Front Office

Front Office

Peter Bridgwater
I’ll let his Wiki page do the talking: “He had been involved with professional soccer in San Jose since 1984, when he was named general manager of the original San Jose Earthquakes of the North American Soccer League. Bridgwater later bought the Earthquakes franchise, and then after the NASL ceased operations in 1985, he founded the Western Soccer League, forerunner to the American Professional Soccer League– later known as the A-League and now the USL First Division. Bridgwater was also venue director for World Cup 1994 at Stanford Stadium, Palo Alto, California. The success of World Cup ‘94 sparked the formation of the MLS and The San Jose Clash. Since 1984 Bridgwater did more to keep soccer alive in San Jose, California than any other person.”

Johnny Moore
While most of his accolades reside with the NASL Quakes (first player signed, assistant coach, general manager), Moore also was the general manager of the Quakes during the successful 2002 and 2003 seasons. As he states in this interview from the past May, his passion has always been the growth of soccer in America. Also, very interesting that Moore mentioning Arturo Alvarez and his good play. Hmm..

Alexi Lalas*
I’ll let J.J. Schuster handle this one: “As a die-hard ‘Quakes fan, I want to publicly thank Alexi Lalas for all his efforts to help San Jose. “Thank you, Alexi” for sending Frank Yallop back to us. We have the best coach in MLS. Too bad you hired someone who knows next-to-nothing about American soccer. And “Thank you, Alexi” for no longer being our GM & President. Not only will the Galaxy not make the play-offs, my Quakes will finish higher in the standings.”

*Juuuuust kidding

Ronnie O’Brien is going to single-handedly win the league for the Quakes. I think the folks working the cameras know by now to just point those cameras at him and roll. At times, he seems to be the only one doing anything out there.

The camera-folks also seem to guarantee at least one male model shot of Ian Russell per game (yo, not complaining). I think if this whole Earthquakes thing doesn’t work out for him, he can eek out a living doing Sears catalogs and such.

Yallop should put the suit back on. No reason. Let’s just spice it up a a bit from time to time.

I was at Ricky’s for the RSL game (Ricky totally hooked us up btw), and the woman sitting next to me started calling John Cunliffe “sweetie.” …and at that moment, a new nickname was born. Also, the woman sitting on the other side of me saw Troy Dayak on the tv and immediately announced he looked like a stripper. Great game.

Speaking of Dayak, it’s a crime against humanity he isn’t in the ESPN booth doing color commentary already.

I was at the Kezar Pub for the DC United game. I wound up stealing Yuri Morales’ seat but he was surprisingly cordial about the situation. There were also 50 bajillion other people in that bar to watch the Spain/Italy Euro game. I had the special: the bbq pork sandwich, which was very tasty and helped me get through watching the utter beat down from DC and especially that Emilio. Grrrrr.

Tim Hainley does not like Chivas USA. His game preview last week was a painful read indeed. He does like that Sacha tho.

I’m missing Saturday’s game against the Rapids. My friend is having a bbq that night and he’s serving smoked pork (see a pattern?) and his homebrew. And seriously, this guy knows pork and beer. He will rattle on and on about those topics for hours. Sometimes, when he gets started, I just gotta walk away. Sorry Quakes. Can’t miss this one.

Joe Cannon’s family perhaps picked the wrong line of work. Realtors? Really? In this market?

The transfer window is opening up soon. Maybe next week? Apparently that means the Quakes are going to pick up a fantastic offensive player, the stars will align, there will be world peace, THE SAN JOSE OFFSIDE BLOGGERS WILL COME BACK, and everything will be super fantastico awesome.

You like to write about the Quakes. Duh.

You live in San Jose. Or just anywhere technically called the South Bay. I loooove giving local shoutouts and such but I live in Oakland and I am painfully aware this blog has San Jose written all over it. Sure, it’s only something like 70 miles away but damnit that’s far. And the South Bay is like another planet compared to where I’m living now. I know these things. I grew up in San Jose.

You actually enjoy living in San Jose. When I was living there, I managed to eek out some fun and found a lot of interesting stuff in the area to entertain myself with so I know my request is not an impossible one. Also, you writing about all that interesting stuff on this blog is absolutely encouraged.

You like to write about the Quakes AND random general local soccer crap. The San Jose Frogs, Real San Jose, The DeAnza Force! (beeeyatch), your weekly indoor game, beers at the bar with your teammates after your weekly indoor game…

The players are cool and all, but you would totally jump at the chance to interview their significant others. My dream post for the San Jose Offside is an Earthquakes WAGs shopping trip. And the trip would NOT be boring sh*t like hitting up high-end fashion death traps such as Coach and Prada. Oh no. We’re going to the the mall, we’re grabbing some Orange Julius, and we’re plowing through the sale racks at Old Navy. For reals. I actually do need new socks. (Ok, this last criteria is more along the lines of wishful thinking.)

Alright. There’s no money and very little glory. But I do think we’ve built-up more of an audience than the five friends of mine who tell me they’re reading. Does that sound up your alley? Yes? Maybe? Hit me up in the comments or via email, sanjose[at]theoffside[dot]com.

In the meantime, here’s the audio form a recent interview 101 Soccer did with Joe Cannon. Some pretty good questions and responses. Enjoy.

One of my oldest and closest friends is working on a project put on by The Shipyard. It’s an alternative energy race from Berkeley to Las Vegas where vehicles fueled by anything BUT petroleum are allowed to enter. And I think The Earthquakes ownership group should sponsor it. Perhaps not the entire race but maybe just a car? We can put Earthquakes stickers all over it and even have a player drive it. Is Jay Ayres still out? C’mon down! A trip to Vegas will make that face heal faster for sure. Ok, in all seriousness, I am not lying about the race. Here’s an article from CNet about it. Also, my friend is gonna send me more info and I’m gonna try to “get a meeting” with Lew and the boys. I’ve never actually attempted to ask rich people for money before so this will be a learning process for me. Follow along as I go through the philanthropic motions. Will I be successful? No idea. But I am going to try!

Ok, so wordpress got updated last night and it appears I cannot embed MLS video right now. Just go here to watch the damn goal.

Annnnd don’t get on my case that he’s not ON the list yet. I say, it’s time to campaign to get him nominated. Then we can all vote and vote often.

Good job boys. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend, y’all.

The Earthquakes and Columbus Crew combined for 25 corner kicks Saturday night at Buck Shaw Stadium, setting a club record for combined corner kicks in a regular season game. The previous Quakes record for combined corner kicks was 21, set on Aug. 5, 1998 in a match against the New England Revolution. Columbus also set an opponent’s record for corner kicks in a game and a half against San Jose. The Crew had 18 corner kicks with 11 of them coming in the second half.

Congratulations us! I think we should next focus on breaking the record for longest allowed stoppage time or perhaps the most throw-ins?

Anyways, here are some quick links of note:

* Jay Hipps reported on his blog a few days ago, “there are already discussions underway between supporters of the [Quakes and Seattle] for a special cup competition between the two sides every year.” Now, I’ve mentioned this before on this blog but I think it’s worth repeating, if Drew Carey really puts together his marching band, then I think the Quakes need to retaliate by hiring Oakland’s own, Extra Action Marching Band, to blow Seattle out of the, err, stadium. And I also think it’s worthwhile to add here that I realized a few months ago I am in no way the demographic the Quakes are marketing to. So I know my brilliant ideas will never ever see the light of day but I’m still going to suggest them whenever I can.

* Jeff Carslisle reports the Quakes will be trialling “a parade of players until the transfer window reopens in July.” Already come and gone are two Brazilians, Morelia duo Marcinho and Wanderson. Both recently played in Mexico’s second division.

* The San Jose City Council meeting to vote on the proposed sale of the old FMC site has been postponed to May 20th.

* If you are stuck in San Fransisco on May 21, there will be people at The Chieftan – 198 Fifth Street (5th & Howard) starting @ 11:30am to watch the Champions League final.

* The EPL is over, the Euros start soonish, the Champions League final is next week, the Quakes are away… what is left for this weekend? USL-2 bitches! The SF Seals home opener is Saturday night starting at 7pm at The University of San Francisco. Your Saturday is already set – watch the Quakes game then stumble up to USF for the soccer and some music. See everyone there!

Thank you for your request for post-game train accommodations after the San Jose Earthquakes’ games in Santa Clara.

Unfortunately Caltrain is not in a position to add service because of budget reasons, besides which management does not believe that the demand is there to warrant the addition of a train.

Nor can the 9:05 pm Saturday departure be delayed because there is no way to know when customers will be arriving at the train. A train cannot be held indefinitely when other trains depend on its timely performance. Also, there is construction along the right of way and adherence to a schedule is vital in order to have those areas cleared in advance of a train’s passage without unduly interrupting the ongoing work.

We regret being unable to accommodate the Earthquakes’ fans. However, if the team’s executive staff wants to charter a train, we will be happy to schedule one.

Astrid Lindell
Caltrain Customer Relations Specialist

LAME LAME LAME! A few days ago, I looked up the schedule. Without any changes on game nights, the likelyhood I will miss the last Bart train is exceptionally high. And while I am aware there is a transbay bus, I just gotta say that this situation effin blows and I’m not particularly interested in hanging out at the San Francisco bus terminal at midnight on a Saturday night. I know – where IS my sense of adventure?!?! Anyhoo, some friends and I are probably going to look into getting a car I guess which also sucks because I’m under the impression that the parking situation around Buck Shaw pretty much blows. This is seriously a lose lose situation for everyone involved.

How many SF Bayers are planning to trek down there? We should charter a bus for reals. Google and Yahoo do it to bring their employees down to the South Bay offices. Why can’t we?